the good / bad mitten game

This is Elvis Radio AM ...nightly, 10 PM Pacific...at K-L-U-E...simultaneous radio network. The following is a re-broadcast of last night's game of good-or-badminton. (pause) Well, it's certainly stimulating tonight, Don, we're all in anticipation of tonight's game, and there's a lot of energy tingling in the air. Well, I know I am, Bob. Yep, we're just about to start. There goes the buzzer. It looks like Donna from Dairy City has won the toss up, and she's off heading for the "It's Bad" goal line. I can't believe she can run that fast considering she's carrying those three kids on her back. Yeah, you're right Don, that is a heavy burden for her. Oh, wait, she's going to toss it to John from Jacksonville. And he caught it! And he's running! A little history about John, he believes everyone is flawed and... There's another play! John tosses the ball to Barbara from Battle Creek! I don't think Barbara can secure that ball, she's too worried about it. Wait, look at that, a weirdo as grabbed the ball from Barbara, and he is running to the "It's Bad" goal line. He's gaining a lot of ground. He sure is. But wait, there's some interference from another person! Oh no, she's completely dropped the ball. But, wait! The ball has been recovered by a schoolteacher from Burlingame, and she is heading in the wrong direction! This was certainly unexpected! Wait no! A computer programmer from San Jose has stolen the ball, and he's turning around. And... he's going to pass it to Tom from Tacoma. Oh, no, folks! Tom from Tacoma is dodging the ball. But, wait! A Judge has recovered the ball from Tom and he's running for the "It's Bad" goal line. Whew, that was close wasn't it Bob? It sure was! I thought the ball was out of play. Oh man, another surprise play! A geek has come out of nowhere and stolen the ball! I think he's on the other team, Don. I think you're right, Bob. Look! He's passing it to Mary from Milwaukee, and she's running for the "It's Good" goal line! She tossed it over to Bill from Boston, but Bill is just holding the ball. Oh man, would you look at that! Some girl has stolen the ball from Bill. I think she's on the other team! What a play! What a play, folks! Oh yeah, look at her run with the ball! She's really protecting that ball, isn't she, Bob? And she tosses it to Phyllis from Philadelphia. Phyllis looks really good in her red, white, and blue uniform, doesn't she, Don? She sure does, Bob. There's another play as Phyllis passes it to Mark. Mark looks a little hostile to me. What do you think, Don? I'd have to agree. Oh, folks, what a play! Cynthia has stolen the ball from Mark, and she's running for the "It's Good" goal line. This is an exciting game tonight! Look, look! Kim from the Philippines is yelling something from the sidelines. The crowd is booing. Oh, no! Wait, wait! Paul from Provo has stolen the ball from Mark! And he's heading for the "It's Bad" goal line. Look at that guy go. I can't believe anyone can run hacking a ball like that. Can you, Bob? I just don't know what to believe, anymore, Don. Wait, Polly from Portland has grabbed the ball from Mark. This is exciting, Polly can't decide which way she wants to go, I think she's doing some dodging herself. And Polly gives it up to Stan from Springfield! It looks like Stan might have a diaper. He passes it to Harold from Hartford. I think Harold might have a gun. I can't tell. And Harold passes it to a woman that's wearing a target. The symbology here. Can you believe it, Bob? No I can't, Don. She passes it to Johnson, and look at him run. Johnson sure knows how to discipline himself. Wait, there's a weirdo in the sidelines yelling something. It looks like he's in costume. Yeah, Don, he looks rather alien. Oh jeez! That was a distraction, folks! An unidentified woman from the other team has stolen the ball, and she's heading for the "It's Good" goal line. Damn! Wait, wait! Ira from Idaho Falls has recovered the ball, and he's got it turned around. What a play! And Ira's passing it over to a man in a world nations uniform. Look at him catch it, what control that guy has! Oh no! Jack's gotten the ball, and he's headed in the other direction. There's no censoring this! Oh! No! Folks! An intelligent, educated man has stolen the ball from Jack. And the crowd is on their feet and booing! You better pass that ball quick, sir. Oh man! Kim from the Philippines is yelling out something from the sidelines again. That has brought the crowd to their feet and everyone is booing! I think that was offensive, don't you Bob? I sure do, Don! Oh, look at that, a man has run out onto the field and grabbed the ball. Where did he come from? Another offensive play! Look, look! Another man has run out onto the field, to help! Lots of offensive plays, now! And now someone in the crowd is calling them all idiots. Oh, no! A third man has run out onto the field, and now he's just smashing that ball to smithereens. And the crowd is going crazy, folks! Oops! There goes the buzzer, times up!