Side Effects May Include

Step right up for the miracle cure, Smiles so bright, they must be sure. But wait—side effects may include a little twitch, Don’t mind the disclaimer, it’s just a small hitch. (It’s just a small hitch.) See them frolic, see them play, In commercials, it’s all A-OK. But listen close, the voice speeds through, “May cause insomnia, oh, and your toes might turn blue.” (Your toes might turn blue.) Chorus: This medication can cause heart failure, low blood sugar, High blood pressure, liver disease, Are you really that happy, or is it just a tease? (Or is it just a tease?) Tell me now, are those smiles just a breeze? (Just a breeze?) Verse: Jogging in the park, wind in their hair, Ads full of life, but buyer beware. “Risk of fainting in hot or crowded places,” Catch that fine print before it races. (Before it races.) Grilling steaks with family, what a lovely day, “Might cause hallucinations,” oh what did they say? A picnic under the sun, but keep in the shade, “If pregnant, your baby might be delayed.” (Might be delayed.) Laughing at dinner, wine in their cups, But the side list grows, and it never lets up. “Could make you dizzy, might even see doubles,” These happy folks, are they just bubbles? (Are they just bubbles?) These happy folks, are they just bubbles? (Are they just bubbles?) Chorus: This medication can cause heart failure, low blood sugar, High blood pressure, liver disease, Are you really that happy, or is it just a tease? (Or is it just a tease?) Tell me now, are those smiles just a breeze? (Just a breeze?) Bridge: Oh, the joy of a possible cure, But those side effects, are you sure? With every gulp, a roll of the dice, Better read that label not once, but twice! (Not once, but twice!) Chorus: This medication can cause heart failure, low blood sugar, High blood pressure, liver disease, Are you really that happy, or is it just a tease? (Or is it just a tease?) Tell me now, are those smiles just a breeze? (Just a breeze?) Outro: So here’s to health, here’s to life, Cut through the joy with a side effect knife. Next time that commercial plays its part, Remember the risks before you start. (Before you start.) [Fade Away, End Song]