The Devil's Lettuce Lament

[Verse] O Paddy found a leafy stash Deep in the old bog's embrace He thought it was a cabbage patch but oh Twas quite a case He rolled it up with paper thin Took a mighty Foolish puff And soon he was a-dancing Sure In his birthday suit and cuffs [Chorus] Oh the devil's lettuce Lads Will take you for a ride You'll find yourself in fairy tales with banshees by your side One puff You'll swear you're flying Though standing on the ground So heed this tale My friends Beware—of that leafy Green surround [Verse] Old Seamus took a hit one night Thought he'd be calm and cool Instead He kissed a man's old cow Mistook it for his mule In the pub they laughed and jeered Poor Seamus' mind so wrecked Beware the cursed green leaves Lads They'll turn your thoughts to specks [Chorus] Oh the devil's lettuce Lads Will take you for a ride You'll find yourself in fairy tales with banshees by your side One puff You'll swear you're flying Though standing on the ground So heed this tale My friends Beware—of that leafy Green surround [Verse] Young Molly thought she'd take a taste Just to ease her daily stress But soon she was a-wandering In her red and polka dress She swore she saw old Lugh himself Down by the river’s bend "The lettuce snared another soul " the village would contend [Bridge] So gather round ye lads and lass This wisdom to command That leaf may look inviting but beware its treacherous hand It's not the whiskey or the stout That sends ye to your folly 'Tis the devil's lettuce Plain and true That makes you act so jolly