Lyrics
I am speaking to you now
Though it's too late now no how
And your blood cries from the ground
Dear Abel, my brother
What can come from being jealous
Is murder, I deserve this
If only I could resist
Dear Abel, my brother
I really fell
should’ve been at that trailer
I created my own Hell
You may call it what you will
Thought I’d see you later
It's murder, twice over.
I am speaking to you now
Though it's too late now no how
And your blood cries from the ground
Dear Abel, my brother
What can come from being jealous
What comes from absence
Is murder, I deserve this
If only I could resist
Dear Abel, my brother
Though my enemies surround me round about, no longer does He.
We surround ourselves with sweet tea and the fruit of that tree,
Why did I come to this city to find God
A feeling like sustenance
He who sustains and rescues
sitting deep inside
He covers and keeps me, kills me
and empty is hard to find without vanity
one pill two deals three hills, four
Wounds open up, take some more
a holy feeling like sustanence
makes it sweet to swallow
Milk and honey, baby blue
and its a blessing so natural,
Yet all I want is hollow and unhallowed
I ran away,
I could’ve stayed,
she would’ve been saved
Survivors guilt has broken and rebuilt
I scream at the director of our cosmic play
My Father the King commanded in his gentle way,
I am His princess, behaving in this way
The King gave wave to Father and there He cried with me
and I washed his feet
And I washed both feet, singing
“Lord, take a seat.”
My hair growing darker each moment
In the secret place
I am no Duchess
I am no black and blue bruised and beaten Queen
I praise my Father and the King
He looked into my eyes, my pupils far too wide
Shrouded Lord commanded three huge angels to my side
“Oh what have you lost inside” even the Lord sighed.
Wings sprout from my back and the wind takes me south
Roots grow from my feet
Plant me on the levee
I paddle in the stormy river and it’s usually brown
It’s moss-green
Every once in a while
I paddle toward something new, I’m a kite in a canoe
Water rolls down the levee
I’m Noahphine, Pauline, Jonah—lee
Then on the sand in a pile
Alone I’m with Abba on the sandbar for a while
Trying not to fight it,
to collapse into the bile
He paddles for me
What’s the reason why, the seraphim know not
The King doesn’t have to try, despite the grip Satan’s got
God’s mama’s got a high heel sharper than his fang.
Under her feet, lilies bloom
Let me roll my swampy eyes
Here comes the Bride
Like the dead body of Christ
Is her chest still rising, Eyes terrified
Tourniquet leaking from her sides, Bleeding beauty petrified
Do you know how she died, fire in the sky?
I’m floating through a beautiful
place I didn’t create, should we fear to die?
Upside down in the bayou
I was supposed to be by you
Mary pray for me
God knows I hardly sleep
Oh Mary pray for me
Ancestors under our feet
Left the truth out in the heat
Bodies toppled by the tribal beat
It withered deep
Like magnolias melted into concrete.
Ripe fruit in the trees above me
Treat my blood like leftover dark meat
Your Jefferson’s in the bedroom suite
I’m untouched in my conceit
White bones squeezed until blood secretes
Flames from the north came with a receipt
We know what hopelessness is, it’s exhaustion
Dedicate our time to it, carved out half-hearts on trees
In muddy boots
Show each other our scars,
Where is my neshama?
Did we dedicate our lives to dying
We don’t have to
Hide each other's dry bones from the gracious God in vain
We know what hopelessness is, it’s a lie
Dedicate our tongues to deceit
Singing songs to You
In the back of the bus
In the very last pew
We hide what we do
He’s not out of range,
What if I change