Lyrics
(Yello?)
[Intro]
I’d like a hand-tossed, stuffed crust, pepperoni pizza,
With sausage
Topped with a little extra tomato sauce
And in the middle,
Put pineapple and spinach
I hope you’re takin notes, cause this order’s not finished
For ten dollars,
Could you throw some salami on ‘er?
Plus a lot of olives
And if it’s not a bother to thaw some frozen baloney
Go
Soak it in tap water
Then slap on spaghetti, eggs, bacon and avocado (What?)
Then a flood of garlic butter
From the Himalayan peaks
I want the dippin sauce drip, drippin down my cheeks
And I’ll need a fajita on each slice
So start sautéin
(We don’t have like, ninety percent of the stuff that you’re saying)
Shut up
Now before you add the tab
And you charge it to my card
You should know
I have some allergies
So listen very hard
Keep the peanuts on the left
And the skittles on the right
Then some Oreos,
Ground ‘em up and mix them up with sprite
Then a hundred quesadillas
Just stack ‘em up
(This guy is insane, man!)
Whisk it in a tub, with,
Tina from a tin can
And don’t forget to add
Nice little sprinkles on top
(Dear God, I’m gonna puke,
please stop,
What’s your deal, man?)
[Chorus]
Pepperoni pizza please
I’d like a pepperoni pizza please
But there’s done toppings that I’d like to add
So just you wait,
Just you wait
[Female]
He wants a ten pound
Ham steak
Sitting on a clam cake
Hand grilled
Jam filled
Floating in a milkshake
White fish
Boiled in oil and make it thick
But add it on last cause it spoils real quick
Crush it into powder
Now pickle and sauerkraut ‘er
Then freeze it with cheez-it
And mix it up into a chowder
Made of Buffalo chicken
In addition
One McFlurry!
(This isn’t a McDonald’s!)
We’ll find one, ya better hurry
Cheetos, Doritos, and Fritos
Taco Bell sushi burritos
Served to me on platters
Held by puppets wearing
Pink tuxedos
Nachos!
Gazpachos
Plop ‘em between a
Couple of waffles and an
Awful lot of falafel and some
Beef stroganoff
Will be all I need
Now my order is a lock
(Dude, you took so long that we closed,
It’s past ten o’clock)
But my heart is palpitatin'
For some pizza on my fork
(The only place that delivers this late is in New York)
[Builld up to non existant chorus]
In New York they deliver past ten
In New York they deliver past ten
In New York they deliver past ten
In New York! (New York!)
Just you wait!
[Chorus]
Pepperoni pizza please
(Pepperoni pizza please)
And a side of spicy wings for two (side of spicy wings for two)
His internet’s down
He couldn’t place the order on-
Liiiine!
Oh!
[Chorus]
Pepperoni pizza please
(Pepperoni pizza please)
and a twenty ounce Mountain Dew
Will it make his heart explode?
Will you take this coupon code?
How soon
Can it be
On the road?
I need this pizza for my sister’s wedding celebration!
(This pizza is a godforsaken gross abomination!)
But before you start to cook I’ve just got one modification!
We, have allergies
Me? Can’t eat dairy
Wheat? I’m gluten-free
Me? I’m vegan, see
/And me?
[Different voice]
I am a tree\
There’s a million picky eaters here,
So just you wait
(What’s your deal, man!)
Pepperoni pizza please!