The Ballad of the Brave Beach-Goers

Oh, the beach is calling, lads and lasses brave and bold, Through swamps of buzzing mosquitoes, their bites a thousandfold, They jog and sprint through buzzing clouds, it’s like a daring quest, While we at home in bug-free zones, find TV suits us best! Heave ho, you beachy folk, as tough as pirates be, With swamps and bugs and sandy rugs, you conquer land and sea, We comfy ones watch from afar, and wonder at your glee, For you brave beachy warriors, life’s a beach, it’s plain to see! A chilly wind that blows so hard, it peels away your skin, The sand it flies and blinds your eyes, like a battle din, They dig a trench and build a tent, their fortress on the shore, While we at home with blankets warm, stay comfy evermore! Heave ho, you beachy folk, as tough as Vikings be, With winds that howl and sands that sting, you face it all with glee, We cozy ones watch from inside, and sip our cups of tea, For you brave beachy warriors, life’s a beach, it’s plain to see! The water's cold at fifteen, it chills right to the bone, No neoprene for these tough souls, they plunge without a moan, They dive right in, embracing waves, no matter how they freeze, While we at home with heated pools, just float around with ease! Heave ho, you beachy folk, as tough as sailors be, With icy waves and salty sprays, you conquer with a spree, We warm ones watch from our hot tubs, avoiding such unease, For you brave beachy warriors, life’s a beach, it’s plain to see! The seagulls dive and screech for snacks, like pirates from the sky, They steal your chips and peck your head, those birds they do not shy, Yet beach-goers they fend them off, with towels and mighty yells, While we at home with snacks intact, avoid their noisy hells! Heave ho, you beachy folk, as tough as pirate’s kin, With gulls that dive and winds that howl, you fight and always win, We relaxed ones watch from peaceful spots, away from all the din, For you brave beachy warriors, life’s a beach, it’s plain to see! Heave ho, you beachy folk, the bravest of the brave, With every trial and sandy mile, your spirits never cave, We homebodies raise a toast to you, from comfy couch enclave, For you brave beachy warriors, life’s a beach, you always save!