Oh Lord, Ain't Nothin' Worse

[intro] (Verse 1) Out on the backroads, 'neath the pale moonlight, In my Chevy truck, just me and the night, Stopped at a diner, hunger in my soul, But little did I know what would take its toll. (Chorus) Sittin' at the counter, chewin' on my pie, Feelin' fine 'til I felt something awry, Then it hit me like a thunderin' train, Oh Lord, I done shat my pants again. [violin solo] (Verse 2) Tried to hold it in, with all my might, But them chili fries started up a fight, I squeezed my cheeks, tried to keep control, But my gut rebelled, it had its own goal. (Chorus) Jumpin' 'round, tryin' to keep my cool, Prayin' for deliverance from this stool, But there I stood, in my moment of pain, Oh Lord, I done shat my pants again. (Bridge) Stumblin' like a cowboy in a rodeo, Wishin' I could disappear, where'd my pride go? Just a country boy in a sorry state, With a mess down below, can't change my fate. (Chorus) Laughin' with my buddies, havin' a blast, Till my stomach said, "That's your last," Now I'm standin' here, in this shameful lane, Oh Lord, I done shat my pants again. (Outro) So heed my tale, if you're ever in doubt, Watch what you eat, before your pants give out, 'Cause there ain't nothin' worse, nothin' more insane, Than a country boy singin', "I done shat my pants again."