Jokes 1

Mate! Let me tell you, London's a right old place, innit? I mean, have you seen the fog rolling in off the Thames? It's like the whole city's been wrapped in a damp, miserable blanket! Ha! (laughs) Get it? Like a blanket? Ah, never mind. And don't even get me started on the Tube! It's like a bloomin' nightmare down there. You're packed in like a sardine with a bunch of sweaty strangers, and the air's thick with the smell of damp and despair. But hey, at least it's better than walking, eh? I mean, you'd be lucky to make it to the next street corner without getting flattened by a hansom cab or something! (laughs) And have you tried the food? Blimey, it's like they're trying to poison you! A nice plate of jellied eels or some dodgy-lookin' pie from the market? No thank you, mate! I'll stick to me mum's cookin', thank you very much! (laughs) But despite all the chaos and grime, there's still somethin' about this city that gets under your skin, know what I mean? Maybe it's the history, maybe it's the people... or maybe it's just the fact that you can get a decent pint at the local pub for tuppence! (laughs) Ah, London, you're a dirty old thing, ain't ya? Oh, and have I mentioned the weather? Bloody 'eck! It's like the sky's trying to rain down on us 24/7! But hey, at least it keeps the streets clean, eh? I mean, who needs pavement when you've got mud and muck everywhere?! (laughs) Ah, London, she may be a bit rough around the edges, but she's got character, ain't she? Anyway, that's my take on London from a bloke who knows a thing or two about this mad city! What do you think, mate? You agree or what?!