Turkey Dog
standup comedy
April 14th, 2024udio
Lyrics
[applause and laughter]
Well hey there my peeps
[laughter]
Hey, what do people eat for breakfast?
Turkey.
[one person laughs]
What do people eat for lunch?
Turkey.
[small laughs]
Where do people go?
Turkey
[applause and laughter]
[laughter]
Did you know I named my dog Turkey?
[laughter]
Do you know what it likes to eat?
Dog food.
[laughter]
And turkey
[laughter]
But does that mean it's eating itself?
[laughter]
So I met this dog walker the other day
You'd never guess her name
[laughter]
Laura.
[laughter]
But she LOVED turkey.
The food or the dog, though?
[laughter]
Don’t you think it’s weird?
How we name pets after other animals
I once met a cat called Moose
And a Moose called Cat
[crowd chuckles]
It’s confusing, right?
Imagine calling a zoo, asking for Cat
And they put you through to the big cats' habitat
[crowd laughter]
But you were just lookin' for your kitten, where's the sense in that?
[applause and laughter]
Did I mention my turtle named Cheetah?
[crowd snickers]
Yeah, fastest turtle in the tank
[Crowd laughter]
Actually, he's so slow, I painted a line and he still hasn't reached it
[crowd laughs heartily]
But let's not discriminate, my pet fish is named Bird
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