Belated Birthday Blues

They call me the Late Greeter, time slips through my hand (just like sand) Wishin' you a happy day, hope you understand (belated birthday) I was on time in my mind, but time's really unkind (dragging feet) My horse, he ran the other way, got invited to a different soiree (wrong fest) Missed the moment, missed the cheer, I promise I was near (Near the truth) Now this here story is my gift to you Across the plains, beneath the big bright moon (gallopin’ hard) I pushed on through, but I got there too soon (wrong star) [Chorus] And I found myself at the break of dawn (just at daybreak) In the quiet before your birthday had spawned (a little mistake) Just a cowboy with a wish, a 'Happy Birthday' to you (this tune's for you) Meant to toast your day, with the dawn's first light (but I'm late) Ended up in a tavern brawl, lost the fight (bruised fate) Told a fortune teller, make this curse undone (find the time) She just laughed, said 'Son, the party's already begun' (I'm behind) This tardy traveler's got excuses by the pound (heavy load) Was serenadin' a coyote, got lost in the sound (off road) These cowboy tales, they might sound surreal (crazy plots) But life's a rodeo, and that's the deal (tie the knots) I bought balloons, they soared to the sky (flew away) Guess they're havin' a party, way up high (what a day) I met a prophet, had a vision to share (eyes so wide) Said your party was yesterday, but I swear I tried (he lied) They call me the Late Greeter, apologies in hand (so sorry) Missed your day, my alibi's as wild as the sand Old truck broke down, in the heart of the storm (pure dismay) Lost my way, map was torn (so torn) That's why I missed, your annual day, it's true Had to wrangle a bull or two (or two) Wound up in a detour, wranglin' with time (such a crime) Held up by the stars, in a campfire's rhyme (oh that rhyme) Hat flew off in a race with the wind (gone with the gust) Chased it down, sunset was pinned (in the dust) Got your gift from a wandering peddler's store But I showed up, at the wrong dang door (next door) (Outro) They call me the Late Greeter, time slips through my hand (just like sand) Wishin' you a happy day, hope you understand (Happy Birthday) Missed the moment, missed the cheer, I promise I was near (Near the truth) Now this very story is my gift to you (His doggone computer made it up) (Choir) He wishes you a happy day, hopes you understand He Missed your moment, he missed your cheer, He Says He Was Near Now this very story is his gift to you He wishes you a happy day, he hopes you understand (Happy Birthday) He missed your moment, missed your cheer, He claims he was near (Nearly True) Now this very song is his gift to you (it was the computer I tell ya!)