Whiskey Repairs

Closed shop for the day, my labor finally through Ready to kick back with nothin' much to do [Verse 1] Walked in the door, felt that old wood creak The family's gathered ‘round the screen, so sleek With a click and a whir, that computer's startin' to peak But Lord, that machine is just another antique 'Cause I hate that beeping old printer you never let me fix You're a tech wreck heartache who's manual's full of tricks So watch me press the buttons, each one a waste of time As far as I'm concerned, it's just another job to ditch [Bridge] And if you're printing fine, you'd better keep that to yourself 'Cause coming back around here with errors ain't good for my health Well the paper's jammin' up, there's a rattle inside Flashing lights and error codes, nowhere to hide Trying to find the meaning like it's a secret to behold But the manual's a maze, and the hotline's cold [Chorus] On this desk of frustration, my patience starts to fold Dealin' with a tech disaster, a story left untold Yeah, I called up my nephew, with them tech-savvy hands Said 'Uncle I can fix it, just give me a chance' But as he hit the power, that printer gave a screech Even that boy genius, some things you just can't teach [Bridge] So he's tapping on the keyboard, he's unscrewing the back Muttered something 'bout the drivers, then the screen went black Now we're coughing from the smoke, got that acrid plastic stench The printer's spitting sparks, and the cables start to wrench We're in a tech nightmare, that's plain as day to see Thought we had it fixed, but it's a catastrophe [Verse 3] Now it's making noises, like a banshee in the night Grinding gears and squealing, giving us all a fright Then a spill, a slip, the whiskey starts to flow Right into the beast that brought us all this woe All the lights were blinking like a carnival in town But that whiskey wash, it settled the ghosts down [Verse 4] Now there's a magic in the mayhem, in the chaos, there's a plan 'Cause the printer spit a page out, words no one could understand That final sheet slid out, quiet as a whisper's breath Ink upon the pulpy white, a message from tech death It read 'Thank you, that's exactly what I needed, I'm revived' Who knew a swig of whiskey'd be how this machine survived [Outro] So we stared in disbelief, a fix we couldn't guess A shot for me, a shot for it, toasting to the mess